Happy Monday, friends! Hope you all had a great weekend! Back to the normal grind; is it bad that although I don't work, I am already looking forward to the weekend? I think because I like to spend as much time as possible with J and not have to have a curfew. :) One would think that with us being together for over a year, I'd be way over the honeymoon stage. No such luck though; I'm more in love with her today than I was the day we started dating. I guess I can consider myself lucky; even though there are plenty of days where we drive each other crazy, we both realize that there isn't anyone else out there who we WANT to drive us crazy. :) Sounds silly, but I totally feel like we are M.F.E.O. (<--Sleepless in Seattle Reference). You couldn't have two girls who are more opposite together. But here we are, and despite all the naysayers and pessimists; we are still together and stronger than ever.
So with that being said, when we decided that we wanted to have a family, we realized that we not only had a lot of love for each other (and our pups), but we would have a lot of love to give to our baby. Since we decided that J would be the one carrying our first child, it was important for the both of us to find a donor that would reflect both of us. J is a blond hair, blue eyed beauty and me being Filipina, we knew that if it WAS in fact possible for us to conceive a child the "normal" way, we would have a gorgeous child. Unfortunately, it is not possible for us to do the dirty and get prego... so when we decided to look for donors, we decided that we would try to find someone who is Filipino.
Well, easier said than done. The only Filipino donors we found were 5'7'' and none of the profiles were jumping out to us. Things that were important to us were height, education, health. Did his profile reflect thoughtfulness, good handwriting, able to compose decent sentences? Was he smart? Did he come from a good family? All of these were factors in us choosing our donor. Well, we found less than a handful of possible choices and the one we finally decided on wasn't even Filipino. He was Pacific Islander (Guamanian and White). But we really liked his profile. Although he wasn't Filipino, he seemed like a great choice; he had both his Bachelors and Master's Degree in English and Literature and he seemed like someone we both agreed on. So this is who we decided on for our first IUI.
Obviously most every other couple who tries for a baby doesn't have the luxury to choose their perfect donor. With a heterosexual couple, boy meets girl; boy loves girl; boy marries girl. And from there, they both decide to live happily ever after and have a family. Not once do these couples have to worry about finding a donor. So, I think the way I saw this opportunity was that we get the best of both worlds... since we both want to have at least one pregnancy in our life, when J was going to carry our baby- we would choose a Filipino donor; when I was going to carry our baby- we will choose a white donor. That way our children would be half white/half Filipino. No matter who our kid looks like, and what genes prevail... we will love him/her unconditionally.
It's pretty exciting to know that we have the luxury of picking the donor to make our baby. It's also crazy to think how technical everything is. We don't have that luxury of having careless, unprotected sex after one too many margaritas... but this just means we are taking all precautions before bringing in a new life into the world. We are able to factor in as much as possible to make sure we are ready and able to care for this baby. THIS, is something that heterosexual couples don't always have the luxury to do. And something I am thankful for as one-half of a lesbian couple.
So, with us not getting pregnant during our first try, we decided to try another donor for our next one... so this leaves us back to the drawing board to finding a new one. Luckily, this search provided us with more luck and we were able to find a new donor who was 3/4 Filipino and 1/4 Irish. He seems like a great choice and I am hopeful that this will be our lucky donor to give us the positive we are hoping for.
We will keep you posted when we try next. It's all pretty exciting and scary all at the same time. Good vibes to all of you out there!
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