I thought it would be a little easier being on this side of things with this whole baby making process. Ha. Wishful thinking. I tried to stick true to not testing, but I caved and decided to do a pee test on Sunday (Day 11 or was it Day 10?). This is yet another discrepancy we have in this whole, crazy process. What is considered day 1? The day we get our IUI? Or the day after? Ahh!! And when J Googled it to find the answer (her new best friend these days), she found conflicting information (shocker!). So, anyway, I peed on the stupid stick on Sunday and the results came back saying No. We used the First Response Gold Digital Test and it's supposed to be able to test 6 days before your missed period.
You can imagine the sadness, frustration and defeat that overwhelmed my entire body when I saw the "No." But then immediately, I started to come up with a million and one reasons why it was wrong. I didn't use my first morning pee (I tested at around 5:00pm and had been drinking a ton of water so it was WAY too diluted to detect anything); It's still WAYYY too early and day 10 can't really tell us much.
I just have to have a reason for why I am feeling this way. I know I am hopped up on all these hormones but I still want the reason for me to feel this way (the bloating, the hunger cravings, the exhaustion, sensitivity to smells) is because I'm pregnant.
J and I decided that I would pee on another stick tomorrow morning because that would make it day 14 (or maybe it's 13?) and we would know once and for all. If it comes back negative, then obviously... we deal. But if for some miraculous reason it comes back positive, then I will go in for my blood test.
These next twenty four hours need to go by quickly. It just doesn't help that there are girls on the CCB Friends Page that get a positive on Day 10 or 11. Ugh... J and I want this so badly. And I know they say, "the second you stop worrying and thinking about it... it will happen." But hello?! We don't just do the nasty and hope it works. We have to plan for it. We have to pay A LOT of money for it. There's no stopping the worrying. Ugh...
Okay, enough of this negative Nelly attitude. We won't know till tomorrow, so there's no use in speculating. I will keep you all (all 2 of you readers) posted tomorrow.
To the rest: Lots and Lots of Baby Dust to you. :)
I am sorry to hear that it has been a difficult couple of days. Best of luck tomorrow morning! My fingers are crossed for you! -Ashley
ReplyDeleteWe were sooo there with you. I love reading your blog and am ultra excited that in a way we are sharing the journey nearly at the same time. For all those reading this that are in the TWW or still trying... IT'S WORTH IT! I'm 21 weeks tomorrow and can not begin to describe how awesome it is. Yep it's much more challenging as a lesbian couple but hang in there. If wifey who is 48 and Me (carrying) 39 can make it happen, you can too.
ReplyDelete