I am an emotional wreck. I don't even want to blog, but feel like this is the best place to do so. Maybe someone out there can relate and shed some light on this dismal topic. In most aspects of my life, I try to be level-headed and rational though there are times where I can't help but be emotional and sensitive. However, since being pregnant... I am JUST emotional and sensitive. I cry at the drop of a hat: when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I get frustrated... and half the time, I just cry myself to sleep for no apparent reason. I try, oh-so-hard, to contain the emotions, but it doesn't seem to help. Some days, most days really, I look at my every-growing belly and I am happy that I'm growing healthy, happy babies. But those days where I'm so sad and emotionally unstable are hard to even comprehend and make sense of. I don't really talk to J about it because part of thinks I'm just being irrational, but another part of me just doesn't want to burden her with these feelings. I don't feel like I have justification for feeling like this, but I can't help but feel this way sometimes.
There are a million things I would want to change in my life, but I have always been a true believer that things happen for a reason and that even if things can't change... I can certainly change the way I view things. And so, while I can't change my life (in this particular moment), I can choose to view things differently. Or at least in a more positive light. Sounds hokey, I know... but for the most part, it works. If I choose to take things at face value and not view the positives, then that's when I start to get down. So, I don't really like to let myself feel sad for myself for very long.
Again, I know this isn't the place to release these emotions. But because this blog is about my life and what is going on with it, I figured if not on my blog... then where?
Some baby news though: I have my glucose test on Friday. I called my doctor to make sure I didn't miss the window to get the test and they informed me that I will be doing it before my appointment on Friday. Wish me luck. I may have had one to make slurpees and ice cream and am not entirely sure I will pass with the flying colors I hope to. :)
Hope all is well out there in baby land. Next blog, I promise, will be more upbeat.
Till then, have a happy day!
I am sorry that you have been having such a difficult time right now. Have you talked to the doctor about the overwhelming emotions? It is probably normal, but it never a bag thing to run it by them. I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better, I've been the same way. My emotions are all over the place and I've never cried so much before. I'm thrilled about having twins but boy, it's hard carrying them. Right now I'm wondering when the nauseau will go away. I'm at 18 weeks and still feel awful. Help! Take care and hope you're feeling better already. -Sarah from CO
ReplyDeleteOh, Sarah... I am sorry to hear you are having so much morning sickness! Mine went away around 17 weeks, so hopefully yours go away soon. :( I am feeling much better; although I still have my good and bad days. It's just insane how I can cry at the drop of a hat!! Do you know what you're having yet? I wish you the best of luck in this pregnancy... :)And thanks so much for responding to my blog and letting me know, I'm not alone.
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